well... that's over and done with now... ah... tired...

thanks to all my fellow alumnus... great time conducting you all... thanks to those who supported from the audience... many people to thank... all my many teachers in music... whether you knew it or not...

the feeling i have now is exactly that i had as i read the last words in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings... the atmosphere charged with the scent of resolution... closing chapters and books of this period of time... but still knowing that somehow... the writing continues... and one day the dust will be blown off... and the long, flowing script that once filled the pages shall again begin to write...
in other words... i feel an inevitable sense of finality... but i also know that the book isn't concluded yet... there are words that have yet to be said...

ah well... saw this coming...

i was never really able to look back at a concert and say that i was glad that it was over... i always regret the many things... not done... done wrongly... that i will never be able to right... and most of all... i look to tomorrow... and when i see that it promises no glorious music... and even worse... commands that i exchange my flute and baton for pens and papers... and my scores for books... well... it's kinda hard not to be at least a little sad yar...

sigh... perhaps what i also lament now is the fact that i cannot go to warm companionship after all the intensity and action... that i am forced to retire alone at night and face barren tomorrow myself...
ah... for the want of companionship...

music feeds me... oh yes... but it needs life... and also love to sustain it too...

on a brighter note... i have to say i'm simply impressed by the alumni... i cannot for the life of me understand how we went up in stage having rehearsed the piece just once and pulled it off with all the charm and beauty possible... amazing...
you see... to some the quest for perfection may be a long and arduous one... yet is it not true that perfection can be found where you will...?

ah... i shall sleep now...

"...Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heap'd for the belovèd's bed:
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on."
- Percy Bysshe Shelley - 'Music, when soft voices die'