sigh... school starts again tomorrow...
everybody seems to be down...
despite everything... we may be all depressed/pissed off/unhappy... yet we will inescapably trudge our way to school tomorrow at the crack of dawn...
why is it that we all are seemingly mindless against this system...?
if it's just me then don't let this affect your mood ok...

still plenty of stuff awaits to be done... school, choir, band... band again...
i'm busy... even before i step into school...

sigh... the time has come yet again for me to let go of some stuff and focus on other less interesting but undeniably more important stuff...
as always... i can't wait to go off... even if it means more time spent studying instead of singing my head off... i'm just really tired of the pressure and the work and everything... still... i know that once i step down and have nothing to do i will sorely miss the days spent running around doing stuff... interesting, albeit stressful stuff...

i'm very tired... ironically the times i'm most tired are when periods of rest come to an end... refreshed after a holiday my foot...
during the term we stress cos there's work and deadlines and everything... during the hols we stress even more cos the exams come right after that...
simply lovely innit...

sigh... i'm really sorry if this is just making people depressed...

sleep... something i really want to do right now... not exactly in the physical sense... more like in the sense of a disengagement from stressful and depressing conscious reality... that would be really nice...
sweet black oblivion...
and i can't even go to bed now without getting more stressed cos i know i will have to wake up tomorrow and trudge to school... paradoxical isn't it...?
i want to sleep... and yet sleep is the thing that will accelerate the ending of my carefree vacation... and steer me unstoppably towards a possibly very stressful and tiring tomorrow...

note i said possible...
well who knows...? maybe tomorrow will be a nice, pleasant day after all... we all must give ourselves a little something to cling on mustn't we...?
if not for that... i might just decide to lapse into permanent sleep apnoea later tonight...

what utter nonsense...

oh wait... i can see it coming now... righty... another episode of tonight with tuan hao... guest starring charlie...

tuan hao:

i'm so sad, i wanna die, i'm so sad, i wanna die...
sheesh... what happened to smell the flowers man...?

charlie:

oh please... don't you start mocking my misery now... you... you... all you do nowadays is sit in the back while the world takes another jab at me and mumble and sing and stare at the sky... who takes care of the mundane stuff...? who's there when there's trouble and stress...? ME.

tuan hao:

oh so you think it's easy now trying to keep a blockhead pessimist like you from killing all of us yar...? idiot ego stand up front and put up a big show of sadness, tragedy and drama... you're affecting us all! it's not just you here you know...
who takes care of the old ones...? the ones he's all forgotten about...? the great flautist...? the great conductor...? world idol champ...? who keeps them alive for the time when he really has to use them...? and how about the new ones... the ones he's just beginning to find out about...? nachtilera...? that one's still young... hardly knows a thing and he's already starting to spout depressing nonsense like you... i was here before you all... and i know deep inside he's a bright, sunny character... so don't go polluting our air...

charlie:

ha... acting the hero now are we...? well if you're so good then why don't you come out more often and smell the rotten flowers yourself...? all you do after all is come out just before the idiot sleeps and remind him of the old forgotten ones... remind him of the all the thing's he's almost given up on... give us all a break from you self-righteous zeal would you...?
maybe we'll all have a better life in his head if he'd stop bemoaning the fact that he's never doing what he really want's to... and you know how to get that done...? let him forget! forget all the big dreams... bury them away...
dreams... well can't you let them be just that...?

tuan hao:

idiot don't you get it...? the reason we're all here today's that he's still dreaming... still hoping... if he really acts on that suicidal streak you've been going on about we'll all be gone... yes all of us dead and gone and-

charlie:

well aren't we headed there anyway...? ha...

(fight ensues where charlie and tuan hao tussle... to the physical world, the body, now an arena for the mental joust... is seemingly intent on watching balls of dust gather at the letter 'M'... then a sudden spark in the eyes...)

ah well... i suppose i'd better be going off now shouldn't i...? been staring at the keyboard far too long... it needs cleaning now that i notice... the 'M' is seriously filthy...

ha... sleep apnoea... what was i thinking...? for some reason or another tomorrow don't look so bad after all... ah well...
off to bed i suppose...
zzz...