welcome to my 89th post...
it doesn't feel that long since i started does it...?

mistakes mistakes mistakes...

i feel like you're all just waiting there... magnifying glass in one hand... huge red crayon in the other...

waitng to blast another error to cosmic proportions...
gawd i'm such a celebrity...
and all you pesky journalists just waiting for the latest scoop...

the weather's turning cold... and i actually quite love it...

it's refreshing and cool... and yes ironically in this country the breath of spring comes as the year dies...
but still...
and i like the night sky... boundless...
yet also a sanctuary...

i can't seem to write the hallmarky stuff that used to be so liberally found in my posts... i suppose that's an improvement...
as a matter of fact... i'm never writing as much as i used to...

anyways...
it's a bittersweet feeling... reading through all the old stuff that your own hand penned not four months ago...
it reminds me of days gone by... and yet it stymies me... i can hardly recognize the person behind the words...
have i changed so much in such a short time...? hmm...

i mean... i've gone from confessional... down all the way to insights on society... and finally... to top it all off... allegory...
the confessional bits... i have to admit... are the ones that are the most difficult to identify with... and at times... embarrasingly squirm-worthy...
yet i would not change them nor wish i had never penned them... it's a mark of passage...
perhaps it is not the person... but rather the mind that changes...
grows... i hope...

i suppose that it is now obvious that there are some people who turn to writing hysterically and manically when not in the best of moods... yet others who do not write at all...
and also... my kind... that writes pensive... even dark stuff...

maudlin... feels so weird a label on me...

but don't worry... i'm not depressed... nor upset...
just... haha... in a thoughtful mood...
not the kind that makes me study better...
quite the reverse... the kind that draws my mind away from intellectual pursuits...
to...
well... other stuff...

but that's a tale for another day...
i've gotta go now...