yes i know the tagboard's up...

i have deigned... in my grace and generosity... to allow it to thrive again...
i put my trust in the hands of my beloved audience that it will not... degrade... again...
you may henceforth address me as Your Magnanimity...

no... not Your Malignity...
although if anyone dares rape the tagboard with unhallowed and savage words...
i might just become that...

have fun people...

"don't fold your arms like that! no-confidence look..."

don't say anything bite bite bite your tongue...

"sit up straight... don't slouch... look smart!"
"put your hands in your pockets..."

bite bite remember to smile bite your tongue no it's actually your lower lip bite your tongue's just a figure of speech ouch...

"put your hands in your pocket... yes... like that..."

ouch my tongue no it's lip ouch my remember to smile lip hurts ouch...

thanks to dear momma's grooming lesson and my steel-willed resolve (as seen in my attempt at recreating my stream of consciousness above) not to make a scene on the car on the way to dinner...
i can feel the skin on my nether lip fraying now..
seeds of an ulcer...

oh well...
remember to smile... mother means best...

there's nothing much else to say...

oh yes singapore makes the biggest and longest lanterns...
wow i'm so proud...
whee...

add this to the longest otah...

can we please find some other more prestigious record to set...?

i have just realised that i start one in three posts with "hello" within the first three letters...

yes...
hello...

i believe in greetings... it's supposed to make the day better... or night for that matter...

good morning doesn't serve well 'cos... well i'm not sure... but i might be sued for discriminating against greetings said in times other than in the morning...
therefore i should use time-of-the-day neutral language...

in this time and age of mitigation...

actually i think it's because i don't know when most people read my posts...
but i decided it was too boring...
so we'll spice it up...
ooh... big words...
discriminating...
mitigation...

ahem...
(feedback noise, slowly crescendoes, but is suddenly cut off...)
i am now officially considering putting my tagboard back on...
bribing, pleading, begging, and generally licking my boot will improve the chances of it ever seeing cyberspace again...
threats, especially those in the nature of going to other sites in cyberspace, in the event that i do not put up my tagboard, to reverse euphemise, sensationalize, and generally be top-rate tabloid journalists, will be regarded as the most earnest form of requests for me to liquidate my tagboard...

excuse the italics...

this mode of communication, honestly, does no justice to, shall we say, the subtle nuances, of the language...
this is my way, as you can see, of expressing, clearly and plainly, where i wish there to be emphasis and stress on the words in question...

and let's go back to speaking like normal people...
and let me go back to my dots... instead of commas...

oh yar... i'm done with prelims!
woohoo!

kinda late reaction i know...
quite mild too...
well...
there's still this tiny little thing called the GENERAL CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATIONS - ADVANCED LEVEL to worry about...

and if anybody so much as utters oh don't worry it's just like taking the NEWT after you've got your OWL's i swear...
i will hex you to oblivion...

oh well...
today's post seems to be a very emphatic and enstressed one yes...?
i think i made another word...
if this goes on i can write my on dictionary...
i'll be off now then...

goodnighty...

argh...

i've been battling the evil forces of spyware... it was a losing battle..
i was confident of winning the battle... but alas...
as i stood over the prone form of the unimaginable evil... it rose...
and i was almost consumed...
Mozilla has come to my aid...
given me a brief respite...

what happened was that all my spyware programs could not solve the problem... and internet explorer was paralyzed...
and so i switched to Mozilla...

on another note... i was a trembling mess during the paper today... oh no... not because i was nervous or anything... it was the hilarious drama extract they set for the paper... well... this sets a record...i was moved close to tears in the previous paper... and now just today i was a trembling in my seat trying not to laugh out loud...
and no it was not some lame joke... it was top grade humour...
witty and effective...
i hope...
if not my interpretation of the piece will go down the drain...
oh no!

(all on stage gasp and turn to look at CHARLIE; a traffic accident is heard in the distance, with the car-horn ecoing into silence, and faraway thunder rumbles)

talk about a mock sympathetic background...

the truth ain't too far off either... mefolks are off their heads and having... shall we say...
a lively attempt at resolving a mild disagreement...
mild enough...
perfectly ok... no problems here...
just the small, insignificant, perfectly-understandable-if-it-goes-unnoticed fact that i would rather be somewhere else...

preferably somewhere where i can sing my bloody heart out...

pun intended... brutally-in-your-face so...

my heart is bloody... wouldn't be alive if it wasn't...

back to my wonderful literature faculty that chooses to brighten out muggy lives by giveng us unseens that are so full of human emotion...
both mirth and tears...

oh wait change that... rewind....
ok now replay...

back to the trembling mess that was desperately stifling laughs in today's paper...

i do have to say that the influence of the passage was only so much... the rest of the overflowing laughter that came was...
well... stress...
it puts you on an edge... it frazzles nerve endings... so that as well as having the slightest irritation result in major disagreements... it also makes you break down and laugh... till tears come mind you... at the slightest... most ridiculous things...

haha...

you suddenly see things in a whole new light... hyperclarity sits on your senses like some skin-tight
suit... magnifying even the smallest thing you see, hear or touch...
your eyes seem to open wider... and for a few hours... the tiredness of sleepless nights is doused in adrenaline...
the smallest thing literally sets you alight like as if you were doused in something delightfully flammable...

and no i'm not pyromanic...

ah... this post seems respectably long...
goodie...
well i'll be off now...

hello...
i just flew through Pet Sematary in just over twenty-four hours...
whew...

it was good... yes... pretty good...
now... i hesitate every few minutes half expecting a lurching creature to come cackling into the room...
not daring to look over my shoulder...

haha... good thrill... not cheap thrill like some substandard horror flick...
the type that ends in some bloke waking up from a bad dream and then having to re-live it all over again...
ah whatever...

off to mug...
i hope...
haha...

hello everybody...

i have allowed you all to comment... on my posts... my blog...
feed like the hungry vultures you are on the dry morsels of that still cling on to the bones of my life... and take them, sensationalise them to the juicy bits of gossip... fleshy bits of tabloid news to entertain some and for others to live vicariously off...
thank you...
the things i'd do for my audience...
(Appreciate! he commanded with a flourish of royal ermine, and a brandish of the royal scepter.)

anyway... won another round of solitaire... haha... my life now revolves around big pieces of paper bound together in various notes and books...
and small little bits (virtual mind you) of paper in cards to entertain my late nights...

maybe if i should get my straight As and then give it all up for a wandering life in Vegas... and one day sweep out all the casinos...
get half of Vegas and the whole mafia on my back...
die in a secluded alleyway...
cackling my brains out...
framed up like a moose head in some mafia boss' den...
head grinning...
eyeballs glazing...

ooh excuse me i've been reading Stephen King...
the macabre mode of the writing i suppose is rubbing off on me...

what else is there to say...?

i might be staying up absurdly late to finish reading the book... it is quite chilling actually...
i will have to get down to school on tuesday and wednesday to study my butt off for econs...
i... dunno what else to say...

and i don't think i'm going to boringly (is that a word...?) narrate today's events...
so yes...
'nighty...

woo yes!
i won one round of solitaire!

yes... hello...

you may stop applauding now...
you may also rise... it's preposterous to kneel for all the time...
do it only at appropriate episodes...

there's time for a nice long juicy post today...
goodie...

there's too much to do and too little time... and yes i know every single one of you reading this knows this better than anything... but i still have to say it...
there's too much to do and too little time...
the opportunity cost of doing nothing has risen sharply since the day i was born...
darn...

i'm surfin' around www.greekmythology.com now... soaking in the romance and bloody glory of the greeks...
i will add to the long list things i meant to do but never got down to...
read Homer's Odyssey...

in that list also lies many other things...
read les miserables... or rather continue where i left off...
upgrade my flute...
continue diving...
get a flute tutor...
study music professionally...
perform with the SSO, LSO, Berlin Philharmonic, etc... haha...
conduct in Carnegie, Sydney Opera House, etc... bwahahaha...
let's dream ok... sometimes they do come true...
haha...

ah... been singing a lot these few days... the computer always proves a rapturous audience... so are the walls of my room...

i'm not winning a single game of bloody solitaire...
darn...
let's have another go... haha...

ah... got sick of losing...
another day then...

i'll be off now...
ta...

hello people...
yes it's been a long time...
and no i'm not continuing what i wrote the last post...
i'll leave it as it is to chill all you people...
or as a legacy to my utter failure as a horror writer...

anyways... the calm between the storms...
i'm out of Modern European History...
Prac Crit is on tuesday...
woo life's great...
whee...
whatever...

three w's...

anyways... i have no time nor energy to blog nowadays...
but seeing that i have the entire weekend to slack... and... thank heavens... only two days with papers the next week... i can come now and brighten all yer miserable lives with my rubbish...
so everybody... give me your ears...

blah.
blah.

well that's all folks goodnight and shoo now...
for today my blog shall be a mere boring narration of the time's events...
i need to clear my sleep debt...

He came.


The students were studying, mulling around, minding their own business. There were not many of them in the area, probably less than ten. The weather that day, as those who still can remember, or will remember, was fairly hot; one of those days that seemed like the sun was suspended, the air was still, and everything just stopped and froze in the heat.


Then he came.


He was normally an imposing sight, covered in a single raiment of white. That day, however, he was dressed just as anybody else would. He looked slightly more pleasant than normal, and as if to underline that, when he spoke, the tones were moderated, calm; quieter.

"Err, i have to alert you all," he said, at this point looking around the compound, eyes wide open.

"They will be coming around in a while, the..." he hesitated, as if gesturing at the surrounding furniture could make up for his sudden lack of expression, "fog-people, that is."

The students stared, unclear at the meaning of the statement, but having said so, he quietly suggested that the students leave the area for the moment, head up, elsewhere.


Then he left.


One might be inclined at this point to look at him in disdain, for leaving us all. Yet in such times, those who can go should do just that. The others, the rest, the remaining, we should find our own ways out.

I tried, I can tell you now that I tried. We all did.

I don't know if we should have.


So we left, went up, grabbed a few knick-knacks on the way, enough for a short time away. Notes, food, drink. And we all left. The funny thing is that I never saw all of us leave, some went elsewhere, some stayed behind. I only know something, and don't question me about this, 'cos I'm not going to say it one time more.

I never saw them again. Nobody talked about them then, and no one's talked since, but I know. We all knew.


The walk up was uneventful, we all moved quietly, quickly. The quiet hum grew slowly in intensity, and we walked, guided by our ears alone, away from it.

"So where we headed?" I asked. I didn't think it would be so long, I thought we would be back in a while.

"There's an alcove up two floors. We can go there." One of them suggested that.

"Up? Again? Can't we just stay here," I said again, sitting myself down.

"Yes again. There's space there for all of us. We can stay there till the fog-people are gone." So we left. We headed up, again, up where the fog-people wouldn't go. I should have stayed where I was.

I don't even know why, but I think I shouldn't have gone up.


I can't remember all the details now. It's too long ago, to hard to remember. I know we ended up near the pond. We didn't go to the alcove, whatever, wherever that was. We met another student there. She was alone. It was then that we saw, and we heard.


The fog-people came, and did their work. Carrying long, gunlike, machines that belched out volumes of white fog, they came. The fog didn't look too scary at first, just looked like, well, fog. It came with a smell, pungent, acrid even, it made you fell like the back of your throat was made of rubber.


The fog-people had been around for a while then, and we heard a girl scream. It was sharp, loud, piercing even in that day when the weather was so hot it everything seemed to be suspended and dead. It was cut off, however. Mind you not silenced or muffled. Cut off. Like the girl just disappeared.

Maybe it was the fog, 'cos I remember thinking there wasn't even an echo.

Maybe it was the fog-people.


I think i saw a faint shadow, a silhouette, of that girl. Disappearing quickly into the fog, so fast I wasn't even sure of what i saw.


I can't continue. I've got to rest.

I've got to go now.

Go up.



to be continued...

hello...

wow...
Austin by Blake Shelton... go listen...
makes me feel i've wasted eighteen years of my life...

i'm on a country high...

anyways... there's another reason why my tagboard...
<-------- yes that's where it used to be...
is no longer around...

nachtilera.blogspot.com is now listed on blogger.com... which means that anybody surfing round blogger may come and have a lookie... which means that my tagboard may be host to even worse stuff than what tabloid journalist wannabes can muster...
so there...

and don't threaten me with going to someone else's tagboard to gossip 'bout me... by all means do so...
i daresay that's how gossip's supposed to work...
far away from the subject of it...

and i suppose i have to get going now...

Enter CHARLIE.
He sits at the computer, logs on, and then stares momentararily at the screen, as if thinking. Before long, he starts typing:

hello everybody...
what's this i see...
hmm... i am not happy... why do i see my life sensationalized... of all places... on my very own tagboard...?
i thank fate and fortune for the friends i have...
enough to start a tabloid and challenge The New Paper with...
bloody...

Enter FATHER.
CHARLIE stops typing and briefly, dialogue ensues. Little can be heard, and all that one may make out of the conversation are the mild gestures that FATHER makes, often referring to the computer, and the noncommittal nods from CHARLIE. Though seemingly distant, the two speak with an aloofness bred from familiarity.
exit FATHER
CHARLIE resumes typing:

well thank you everybody for giving me a taste of what's life like as a superstar and seeing my own name splashed across...
well i can't say the tabloids can i...?
err... well...
my blog...
got half a mind to just remove my tagboard...
the other half's asleep... so we'll just wait for it to be rid of slumber...

anyway... i got tired of putting this post into a script... so there...
dump that stupid idea...

let's see now... we've dealt with prose... in my regular posts...
poetry... in that disastrous post that day...
and drama... well sort of...

i am done with creative writing for the rest of my life...

yes i know i've said that before... but now it's final...

haha... who am i kidding...?

ah well...
'nighty people...
and yes that other half a mind awoke...

in response to my post that day...
leoNArdz wrote...
(and i am too lazy to blog today so i shall just copy and not think...)

I find your verse on Saturday
Really quite repulsive.
It has that sort of quality
That makes one quite convulsive.

The rhythm is atrocious
I fear I have to say.
And you make up words to fit the rhymes
That do not go your way!

Now Charlie, you must listen
When I teach you how to write.
It's the nonessential parts of it
That makes your poem trite.

So pen these words of wisdom
With your icky, sweaty palms,
And memorise (with reverence)
"The Leonard book of Psalms"!

Amen.

thank you very much for your not-so-constructive criticism...
watch me bow down to your brilliance... and your wonderful skill...
oh my gosh... without a dictionary...? how do you do it...?
bow...
kowtow...
bow...

hello everybody...

ah... prose seems so pleasant now after the horrors of last night doesn't it...?
haha...

oh lookie below... there's a little something there that allows you to send this page to everybody... haha... feeling narcissistic...

go on... feed my ego...
it won't bite...

i am going to get fat...
pizza for dinner... and now i'm just sitting here typing away...
and after lunch today...? lamb chops no less by the way...
i just sit and read Dickens...

which by the way put me to sleep...
but that's beside the point...

the point is... err...
now what was it...?

ah whatever... as someone has so kindly put it on as his MSN nick...
prelims are in eight days time...

for that moment i truly understood the meaning of ashen-faced, shallow-breathing, clammy-handed fear...
so my face went white as a sheet... and the unnatural irradiation of the monitor's white light awash on my visage served only to accentuate that unholy paleness...
my fingers... frozen above the keyboard...
i shudder at the memory... for that moment they looked all the more skeletal... reminders of the mortal peril that face me...
in eight days time...

yar right...
but honestly... i do need to study lar...

ooh... i should be going into horror writing shouldn't i...? i have that flair for morbid flamboyance... no...?
how about that pride and charm that allows me to write like the devil...? no...?
powerful language to describe in chilling detail all the horror...? no...?
how about shameless ego...? yes...?
ah...

oh well... as i said before... haha... it's not being egoistic...
it's self-affirmation...

i believe in myself...
haha...

hark and hello
with which i start this post to roll.
my fancy and penchant for verse today must seek explanation:
you see, i crave attention.

and so for rhyme and limerick be well preparèd,
for the next moments of yours will be in verse well rhymed.
seek not, though, the crest and fall of verse well measured,
i have neither genius, energy nor time.

yet time enough to plague your day
with endless words in rhyme so shoddy,
perhaps merry or maudlin, maybe sombre or gay...
but enough, to give you horror, and me, glee.

this all began from spark'd inspiration
when one night i found that great concentration
gave me the power to write in rhyme roundabout
(roundabout for logic, rhyme for my words, without a doubt!)

but i stray from the story in feeding my ego,
the plot that you need know should carry on.
simply, i found that sending any into battered woe,
required only the horror of my verse, rhyme and song.

so now that you are stuck in this quagmire,
smile, and let childish rhyme your day make bright?
perhaps we may set away wear and tire
if only we like children colour our sight

to roses pink and yellow sunset,
to fairy dust and dove-wing flap,
remove pretenses of age and wisdom,
and laugh like fools at rhyme so common.

but i see now the tired frowns,
the weary sighs that pull down our moods.
it seems that positive morals to us is no crown,
it is wicked, cruel humour that we relish like food.

so let me now see,
to what shall my words bend?
how do i from vice make glee,
or humour from my life so bland?

or is there here enough humour
to last you this night to another?
perhaps simply in these verses
you may find yourself from your worst times furthest?

i think it is so,
i should not fear,
my rhyme may be cold,
but it should bring some cheer.

what was i thinking?
of course it will!
i should never be doubting,
i am after all a genius still!

ok everybody...
don't say it's crap ok... there's a strict rhyme scheme i follow to...
AABB for the first stanza and alternating rhyme for the next two...
that makes four sections of three stanzas each...

this took me two hours...
what on earth possesed me to do it... i have no idea...
and if i ever get such an idea again...

remind me to:
a) find a wall
b) hard and solid, preferably
c) bang head
d) repeat

oh by the way thanks to dictionary.com and thesaurus.com for all the help in getting me out of some sticky linguistic situations...

'nighty everybody...

vesperal salutations...
the order welcomes your presence... please step into our humble cloisters and remove your worn travelling cloak... the master will meet you in the inner yard...

no that sounds off... i sound like the acolyte of some cult...
err... let's see what's next...

hoi!
wah long time no see yar... i hear you in geylang open dewlian stoll ah? wah not bad woh... so young towkay big boss ah!

... i shudder at the thought... as words cannot express my horror...

greetings... come in peace we are...
bring you we bountiful gifts from mars...
oh yes... gifts precious... fine like finest sand... red like brilliant sunset...
RUST!! bring you we rust from mars!! our gifts greatest in goodwill and peace borne!!

oh no that's wrong too...
for one i do not have a huge green bald head...
nor tentacles for that matter...

oh well...

hello then...
took me long enough to get here... haha...
bytes are free after all... so... no harm wasting a few thousand of them...

i always wonder what people think when they read whatever's up here... do they go...

"oh look a typo... tsk tsk tsk..."
or maybe... "ah he wouldn't know if i'm dissing it... let's send this to 'Top 10 Worst Sites on the Net...'"

or even worse... "you know that weirdo in school i told you about...? come see his blog!"

or perhaps something along the lines of... "GAH!! what is this?? why isn't my firewall blocking this!!?? quick... block it and put it under 'sites with offensive material'!!'"

"GO... RUN... SAVE YOURSELF!!"

but the worst one of them all... well... "ooh... look what have we got here... hmm... my next centrepiece for the PsyKo Kidnappers and Killers, Kookers and Karvers annual dinner party..."

so if i disappear then you all know what happened... or maybe the boss of some bigshot production house in Hollywood will chance upon this and call me up and offer to make a superstar blockbuster based on my blog...
ooh that'd be nice... i'll get paid thirty one billion you-ass dollars at one shot... and maybe receive an annual few million or so you-ass dollars per year in royalties...
oh i'm so headed for the good life...

oh hear that... it's the bubble bursting...
yes i'm kinda mad today... dunno what's gotten over me... maybe it's something i ate...

oh i know... GP's in negative one day's time... that's a lot to celebrate for... everybody pop the champagne... whee...

i slump in despondence at the new... harsh... criticism which has been levelled at my unique brand of humour... at the laughter that is day by day becoming more and more forced... more and more a hiss of displeasure... a jeer from the ignorant crowd...
i realise it is not long before i am prevented from writing... or someone forces me to therapy... therefore... i will write my finest words... and place them in a safe place... for the future generations... hopefully more enlightened... to appreciate...

it is not long now...

i hear it now... footsteps... they sound faint and faraway... but are ever closing on upon me... my precious last moments... and my final words...

i have done it... by the time this is read i will be long gone... but my work shall last for all eternity...

the first... which is also the last... gunshot i hear does not fire from the guns of the men outside... oh no... i am alone in the room...

i hear it... loud and clear... it hurts my ears... being fired so close... then all goes to black...
my hands slowly cool to feel like the cold metal that lies in them... embraced in fleshy palm and bony fingers...

ok people... show's over...
comedy, satire and horror all in one...
tell me what's nice... then maybe you'll see more of it...
if i'm feeling nice that is...
haha...

hello...
everybody...

i just realised that the last seven posts of mine have all started with hello... it's a disturbing trend... i desperately need new ways to say hi...
any suggestions please tag... then we'll see how things go...

do not... i repeat do not tag...
1) hello!!
2) oh hello...
3) oh hello there...
4) oh hello everybody...

i think you get my drift... not a single ache-ee-ell-ell-oh should be seen....

oh yes... i have my GP paper tomorrow... and i just got back from Popular...
imagine me shock when i realised that all my pens were down to the very last drop of ink...
see... procrastination at work... oh well... pigs will be pigs...

haha... hear me snort...

just read The Witches... by Roald Dahl... yes i get comfort and entertainment out of reading childrens' novels... and yes despite that i do have a life...
anyways... i just realised that the book is rather much darker when read from an adult perspective... positive... hopeful... but also very human in it's darkness...
so the dear boy gets turned into a mouse... yes he certainly has great adventures... like getting rid of the Grand High Witch and her entourage... yet... he's given only another nine years to live... imagine that to a boy no more than ten...
and what does he say to his dear grandmamma...?

"How old are you, Grandmamma?" I asked.
"I'm eighty-six," she replied.
"Will you live another eight or nine years?"
"I might," she said. "With a bit of luck."
"You've got to," I said. " Because by then I'll be a very old mouse and you'll be a very old grandmother and soon after that we'll both die together."

maybe that's the where the endearing quality of Roald Dahl's literature lies... he captures... pretty effectively... the very essence of human life and emotions... but from and for a child's perspective...
nice...
i should re-read his books... maybe i'll see things i didn't see before...

as well as i should re-read all my notes, texts and stuff... and hopefully... i'll be able to do really well for A's...

haha... if only things were that easy...
the fact that i'm writing this proves my point... i should lock myself up in school everyday... that gets more work done...

alrighty then... i'll be off... zzz...

charlie leaves the computer... and walks to his room and bed...
sees a pile of clothing on the floor before the bed but chooses not to keep them...
reaches for the switch... and then all is dark...
the sound of a heavy footfall muffled by a mass of soft fabric...
CHARLIE: whoa!
thunk...
CHARLIE: ouch! my headrrggllmmbf...
thump...
in the emerging light as the moon emerges from the clouds the silhouette of a figure sprawled awkwardly over the bed can be discerned...

ok i know the whole thing fell flat...
i'm sorry... just humour me with a few laughs please...

like this...
hah...
hah...
hah...