hello...
now i know i haven't written anything for the longest time...well don't dial nine-nine-nine... i'm back...

i've realized in the past few days that my next few months will be a huge, long... unbearably mundane... yes important and inevitable... marathon... a true test of my mental stamina...

but then and again... we all will have to keep running for our whole long lives don't we...?
hmm... i'd figure from all this that a slow jog would do me better... a stroll even more so...

it seems that at the end of every engagement i may have... another one comes along... that's why i suppose some friends have said that i make myself too busy... well the only defense i have is that at the end of the day... as much as i hate this expression... i need my food for the soul... athletes need to run... artists need to dream... and i suppose pigs have to sleep...
moral of the story...? it's best to be an artist pig... then you can sleep and dream at the some time...

... wait... not making much sense am i...? ah... but ambiguity is an art... as "uncertainty in meaning is incipient poetry"... (that by the way... was from Owen in Brian Friel's 'Translations'...)

i've been mugging see... and some lines inevitably stick in my grey matter... so no it's not movie quotes i'm spouting... not something off the latest sitcoms...
it's fine literature...

a bit of a sad life yar...

haha... but honestly... the sad life part would probably be from someone else's point of view... i mean...i pretty much love my life yar... as some acquaintances and friends of mine who have witnessed my indefatigable ego might attest to...
and even go so far as to say that i not only love my life... i love myself... too much...

ha... well i'm sorry if my ego invades your personal space... i for one call it self-affirmation...

i am tall...
i am handsome...
i am smart...

and oh by the way the washroom's in the other room if you wanna puke...
haha...

ah... tired after a long week... it seems that they've intensified our timetables... so that we go off early but drained like usual... maybe even more so... haha... but i shouldn't be complaining should i...?
oh wait... i should be... there's an essay awaiting...

oh since i'm on a whining streak... i reformatted my computer... i lost all my nice songs... with the exception of the fourty eight that i took with me to Kuantan... i cannot compose... cannot arrange while i wait for the software to arrive through the mail... i feel the yearning urge to give voice to the music in my head...
yes i have music going on in my head... voices too sometimes... but that's not the point...
if this goes on any longer i am going to start doing it the old fashioned way... pen on manuscript... i find it therapeutic by the way... notwithstanding that without any aural aids whatever i write is largely rubbish...

oh well...