hello...

haha... cactus heaven... that's a comforting thought...

this is bewildering... i am hardly into the new week and i'm exhausted... if i didn't know better i would think i'm suffering from some weird disease... like anaemia or something like that...
hmm...

still... i insist on the late nights... haha... hopefully i'll stay long enough to get my mind so clouded over so that when i lapse into sleep i can easily slip into fantasy and dream... or long enough that it starts raining again... then i'll go sleep curled up in my fleece blanket... and dream...
i can hear the crickets call now... and the occasional toad... the nightscape is fascinating... so sensual... wet grass... chirp and croak... the sound of the world so alive while we all slumber...

ah... before i forget... i will be gone over the weekend... up till the next tuesday... so don't come here looking for updates and getting all disappointed when my voice can't be seen gracing your life... i'll be back... don't worry...
on the other hand... if you think you want to flood my tagboard with meaningless... potentially slanderous stuff... then's the best time...
have fun everybody... waiting or flaming as the case may be... ha...

was looking through all my old stuff today... looking for some notes gone missing... and guess what i found... old essays... goodness... some of that stuff i wrote last year deserve only one position... the landfill... how on earth i wrote like that before i cannot fathom...
it's quite humbling you know... looking through your old stuff... keeps you grounded in the knowledge that no matter how good you are now... you weren't born a genius... with the exception of those pesky... intellectually gifted people...

haha... getting bitter are we...?

and the day's approaching... ah well... i know nobody knows what i'm talking about but i write it anyway because it's true...
it's been a long time... and somehow i don't think things have changed on my side of the world... somehow everytime chance presents itself... its just passing... yet lingering... anticipated and yet tinged with resignation... like as if that chance were the last i would ever get... somehow hope and waiting have twined their tender stems into my life...
it's not that i'm bitter or anything... i just want to sleep as i did in days gone by...
go back across the bridge and take another walk...
take the bus back to where i came from...

no i'm not depressed... just sad...

"Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.' "
-Pablo Neruda 'Tonight I can write the saddest lines'