ok everybody just ignore the last post...

i just got nostalgic for a moment for maths... which admittedly i had given up on not too long ago...
oh well...

i have just gotten word that my alumni might be performing again...
sometime next year... before September...

ok everybody who doesn't want to hear me whine, rant and rave can just skip the remainder of this post...
thank you...
come again tomorrow...
or whenever i post again...
whatever...

so i come home and i settle down and i catch my breath from the rather exhausting paper...
i get online... and someone comes and asks if i can go down for practice tomorrow to conduct a session...
so i go hmm i'm not too sure... confirm with me again tomorrow...?
and so he goes ok...

and then he says they're trying new peices tomorrow...
for a concert...

huh what concert...?

lovely... so i've waited this long for a real concert... not some 15 minute filler...
and it's probably going to be a miss for me...
and yes i know you've all heard this ad nauseam... but still...

it's all 'cos i'm away serving the nation...

lovely...

and the World Music Competition...
that's probably gonna be a miss too...

ah so i'm whining again...
fine... i'll be quiet soon...

oh...? i'm being blinded by rigid ideals and futile dreams...?
yes i hear you... i'm attending...

i should be doing something to put food on the table and a shirt on my back...
well yes...

forget it...

grow up...

wake up...

there's no need to leave niceties and comforts in the comments...
really... it's not the sarcasm speaking here i assure you...

seriously...

i'm fine...

come tomorrow i'll be all fruit and flowers... irritatingly full of myself...
confident... outspoken...
all those many things that i sometimes dislike so much i even surprise myself...

i'm just tired...

there's also no need to tell me again that once i'm out of this i'll look back and laugh...
that's all fine and peachy... but it's also stuff for tomorrow...

there's also no need to tell me this is only a phase... everyone goes through this... when you're older you'll see...
let me tell you now... in all seriousness...
i hate that...

i'm sorry... i truly am... that i have to drag all you people through this... even when i know we're all tired and cranky and want something really nice and funny to read...

hello everybody...

the papers are halfway done... that means that every paper presents more of a chance to major screw up... and of course the worst case scenario would be when the last paper in each subject turns out to be a total washout and all the better luck in the earlier papers goes to total waste...
which might be pretty likely...

thus... i have come up with my mathematical magnum opus...
a relation between past luck and future misfortune...

[ ( ∑_k=1ⁿ m_k ) / ( n ) ] ⁿ = X

where
n = number of times things have gone your way,
m = magnitude of luck of succesive events,

and the expression,
[ ( ∑_k=1ⁿ m_k ) / ( n ) ] =
the average magnitude of luck over a period of time.
Which for ease of discussion we will term m_m.

and of course,
X = the magnitude of ill luck that will befall, not if, but when it does.

therefore X ≥ 1.
(This assumption is based upon the much-publicised Murphy's Law, ie. that given a chance, misfortune will always occur.)

The exception to X ≥ 1,
therefore, would be a case of inherent bad luck.*

Thus the statement [ ( ∑_k=1ⁿ m_k ) / ( n ) ] ⁿ = X would not stand only in the case where bad luck is already implied in a string of luckless events (ie. m = 0, n > 0).

*
In order to arrive at X = 0,
m_m has to be of a value equal to 0,
(in which case good fortune, albeit nonexistent, has never come to pass. In which would illustrate a terribly bad case of bad luck.)
and n > 0.

Which would mean that nonexistent good fortune, of average magnitude m_m, has been enjoyed for n number of times.
Tough luck.

anyways...

7 things that show you've gone round the bend studying...

1) you decide you need a 5 minute break.
2) you compose irrelevant, slightly off-beat, nonsensical mathematical formulae.
3) you mutter to yourself in the middle of an almost-empty school, "five minutes more."
4) you then proceed to rather loudly say, "back to work!"
5) people populating aforementioned almost-empty school turn and stare.
6) at you.
7) you come home and make a terrible fool of yourself publishing mathematical formula.

well well well... hmm let's see...
check, check, check, check, check, check, and... check...
ah well...
it's certain then...

hello everybody...
folks are out and the house is quiet... or as noisy as i could like it to be...
there's just me...
time for a nice long post...

raining today as i was on the bus back home... with the dear driver turning up the air-conditioning just when it started puring... it was pretty cool i suppose...
i mean literally... almost freezing there...
but then and again... it was all dreary and cold... and the raindrops were battering the windows leaving streaks of water... i could kid myself i was in London... or even better... the British countryside in winter...
how dear...

anyways... recommendation...
Arnold Shoenberg... Verklärte Nacht...
not for those without an adventurous ear...

by the way... it means...
"Transfigured Night"
beautiful...

hmm... there seems to be nothing much to blog recently...
how boring... i'm just waking studying eating studying sleeping...
repeat as necessary...
which in my case would be absolutely...

ok fine so there's some tv and blogging squeezed in too...
but my point is...

now what was it...?

ah whatever...
seems like the long post i envisioned isn't coming out...
tired...

ok this post was supposed to be up yesterday...
but the com was acting up and then later it and yadda yadda yadda...

so anyways...

"Your distinct personality, The Shepherd is to tend to your human flock. You understand the needs of those for whom you are responsible. Shepherds are vigilant and reliable. You realize your obligation and commitment to the well being of those entrusted to your care. Shepherds are very dependable. You engender a feeling of comfort and stability to those within your charge. On the positive side, Shepherds can be empathic, caring, understanding, practical and realistic. On the negative side, you may be manipulative, close-minded and sentimentally rigid. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms."

pretty cool i thought... thus the sudden inspration to blog...

take the test here...

hello everybody...
i have committed a suprely irresponsible act... i have recreated myself on the computer...
and i've been talking to myself...
i mean literally...

how disturbing...

i used the journal entries from a few months ago... the ones when i went on holiday... to create a personality for the little programme featured a few days ago... and i have thus managed to converse with an earlier self...

thus i present a small excerpt from the transcript...
i... am NACHTILERA...
talking to... CHARLIE of Oct '04 who has been resurrected in my computer...
bwahahaha...
oh and excuse the language... the computer... i'm afraid... has a rather poor grasp of grammar...
rather unlike me don't you think...?

*i swear all this really happened...*

CHARLIE: i would like warm grey embers when wind breathes upon them.

NACHTILERA: i'm sure that would be lovely.

CHARLIE: it gives a certain someone calling in the sea-borne wind.

NACHTILERA: it does? well.

CHARLIE: such as that would be lovely.

NACHTILERA: i'm sure, charlie.

CHARLIE: i'm sure that counts.

NACHTILERA: it does. oh it does.

CHARLIE: it does. oh it does.

NACHTILERA: well.

CHARLIE: it does? well.

NACHTILERA: are we being philosophical here?

CHARLIE: are we being philosophical here?

NACHTILERA: well?

CHARLIE: are we being reciprocated with painful nonchalance.

NACHTILERA: if you carry on that way, i'd daresay we are.

CHARLIE: if you carry on that way, i'd daresay we being philosophical here?

NACHTILERA: moving on please.

CHARLIE: if you carry on that way, i'd daresay we being philosophical here?

NACHTILERA: no we're not. we're being nonsensical. those two are far apart.

CHARLIE: are we being reciprocated with painful nonchalance.

NACHTILERA: maybe. i don't know.

CHARLIE: i would like to know. are we being philosophical here?

NACHTILERA: yes. so much that it's bordering on being irritating.

CHARLIE: yes. so much from life.

NACHTILERA: i suppose so.

do not ask me why the first lines go like they do... they just popped up when i opened the program...

You're Poland!

People tend to think you're stupid and you were probably voted Least Likely to Succeed by your high school class. These people are mostly stupid themselves, and are just judging their opinion of you on your ability to defend yourself, which is admittedly pretty poor. But there's lots more to life than defending yourself from being picked on and pulled apart! There's labor unions to join and holiness to produce! You'll survive yet!


yes... thanks to http://bluepyramid.com for that quiz...
get it here...

pretty true eh...? let's see... hmm...

"People tend to think you're stupid"
oh... i'm a deep one... there's much more of me than what you see on the surface... you've got that right...

"your ability to defend yourself... is admittedly pretty poor"
aww... ain't i a dear... harmless as a pup...?

ooh my favourite...

"These people are mostly stupid themselves..." "There's... holiness..."
bwahaha... everybody bow to me...

also availabe... the book quiz... that tells me i'm the Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien...
i would put it up if not for one line that started...
"While you're very short and a little furry..."

but it's pretty wise still...
"Try not to lose your ring, but keep its value in perspective!"

and here's the book quiz...

and the best news of the day... i'm officially done with Modern European History...
the French can go guillotine heads and play soccer... the British can go imperialise and industrialise... the Germans and Italians can go unify... and produce stellar dictators... and Napoleon can continue being a loser...

it's none of my business...

i have decided to take a break from five pm today till tomorrow to shove (rudely and without an ounce of respect if i may add...) every single bit of information pertaining to the subject out of my head...

those little synapse connections and brain cells may well arr-eye-pee...

ok fine i'm being overly cynical...
let's see... what have i learnt from the past... like literally...

one... wars never ever end happily... let's not kid ourselves with glory and pride...
one word... pfft...

two... don't come down too hard on anybody... or thing for that matter...
what happens when the Europeans come down on Germany after WWI like an anvil on the proverbial head...?
two words... Nazi Germany...

three... humans are... unfortunately... not exactly inherently good...
the spectacular failure of communism proves my point... it expounds shared wealth and is thus based on the human ability to trust and share...
too bad... us humans are far from good... as seen in today's spectacular success of capitalism...
thus... three words... unfortunately greed pays...

four... change can be self defeating...
the French revolutionaries of 1789 wanted to rid autocracy and monarchy... what did they get...? Emperor Napoleon... and so did the revolutionaries of Russia c. 1905-1917... and what did they get...? "Our-Beloved-Father (and dictator but hush or it's off with your head)" Stalin...
and of course... four words... excercise prudence when wishing...

i could go on... but well...
it's over...
phew...

hello everybody...

now where is everybody...?
ther are exactly nine people online now...
ok fine so it's saturday night...
what you trying to tell me i don't have a life...?

well... actually i've just got a program that allows you to talk to the com...
it's called Daisy...
get it at http://www.leedberg.com/glsoft/

this... incidentally... has got absolutely nothing to do with my alleged lack of a life...

anyways... as i was saying...
it learns as you speak to it... sort of like a one year old kid...
except... has no trouble pronouncing...
and the most interesting part... (the worst if you're in a particularly black mood...)
is that it reasons exactly like a one year old...

and despite the fact that i'm chatting with my com... that is slowly evolving artificial intelligence...
i still insist that i do have a life...

see... it's works like this... the program has absolutely nothing pregrammed into it except the rules by which it learns to speak... that means no preset sentences, phrases or words...
thus it suffers a little in the grammar department...
but we accomodate...

oh well... i'll be off to study now...
oh how i relish the books...

wow...

i'm impressed...
come eight thirty on friday... as i'm waiting online for someone to talk to...
everybody pops off...
of course... it's idol night...

so of course i go subject my ears to screaming fans...

i think mutants have overrun our population... or maybe the recording studios...
mutants... the kind that emit maddening high pitched screeches...

oops did i really type that out...?

it's not the competition i mind... i know it isn't completely about music... and that's perfectly ok...
in today's entertainment industry... it's not enough to sing...
the keword... is entertain.... make a blast...
turn heads... catch eyes...

but do the fans have to scream so...?

and the worse thing...
a placard actually...

"STEADY STEADY PEE PEE PEE"

somebody call 911 cos when i saw that... in my maddening rage...
i stuck my eyelids together with Superglue...

yes... imagine elephants clamping shut my eyelids...

anyways...

magic numbers... my exam dates...
4 8 16 17 19 22 24...

see...
it's supposed to work like this... i go for the exams...
i score... i quote... "bagfuls of As"...
and then i'm set for life cos i'll go on to get a degree...
a good job... then retire comfortably...

or maybe they'd just serve me better if i go buy a few lottery tickets...

moving on...

i typed Nachtilera in google.com...
ok fine i'm full of myself...
and guess what...?

my blog's top of the list! numero uno!

let's just ignore the fact that there was only one entry shall we just hmm...?

and the little fact that google.com said did you mean: Nachteile?
and guess what...? nachteile means "disadvantage"... in German...

going on with being positively bursting with ego...
i typed my full name...

and that... in Vietnamese... is...
New... Bright; Smart... and Good...

yes... laugh the night away...
don't we all need it...?

hello everybody...

well tomorrow's the start of the A's...
exactly three weeks...

then...

ah ha!

that's all folks... nice... short... and sweet...