well well who would have guessed it.. i'm back here clicking away on my (very silent) Mac keys so soon..

the day today was spent with the folks, went out for a very heavy brunch (like i can still feel it now) and the day ended with a not-so-heavy dinner..

but that's not what i'm here for today. today we'll talk about something a little less frivolous.

i recently visited a friend who's very ill. we aren't very close, we see each other a few times a year, but seeing her affected me more that i'd have expected. i think the experience of seeing someone so close to death is a powerful reminder that we're all, after all, fragile and frail beings. 

i had an internal boulder-atop-precipice moment when my firmly rooted and Oprah-nurtured beliefs that life inherently has meaning came face to face with the ugly thorn of existentialism and i actually feared for a moment that it would all, at the end of the day, come to naught. it is after all quite a logical position to arrive upon when one looks at the fact that the notions of distinction and the things that we claim make one person worthier than another are constructs as weak and insubstantial as the fibre of our mortal bodies.

but, if only we care to see it (and that makes all the difference) we live beauty everyday. not just living in beauty, but living beauty.

and that makes it all worth. 

we live, and that alone is reason to live. because that's what we're here for.

when i was visiting my friend i noticed that her family members who cared for her looked more despondent than she did, and i was mulling over that the entire ride home. 

i think that perhaps, in some ways, she has the least to lose out of it all. the things that are of true value will always be hers no matter what, but for the rest of her family, they could have to face a real loss.

and then that gave me a second epiphany of the day. there's a clear line between what can be taken away and what can only be given up, and it's sometimes a tough call recognising what's before one for what it really is. but it's of so much importance to see the difference.

and so today became a rather introspective day, as opposed to the lazy sunday that i thought it would be... but i'm not complaining...