hello people yet again...

and let me tell you about the wonderful people in Tekong yet again...

come come come...
sit and listen...

so we're out in the hot sun... and all blistering our butts away sitting down listening to this guy talk...
he's supposed teach us all unarmed close combat...

salva me...

so anyway he says...
no wait...
he barks...

"I DO NOT WANT TO FIND ANY HARD OBJECTS ON ANYBODY! OR YOU ALL WILL GET IT!"

so we all scramble and pat around to see if there's any stray...
hmm... i think that he was thinking somewhere along the lines of bricks or parangs...
maybe he thought that we had stuffed our helmets into our pockets...

coming from a person who, arising out of severe mental impediment, and at the same time causing a gramatically horrifying dangling sentence fragment, has inserted a pause in the middle of his sentence...

i dunno...

anyway patting stops...
barking resumes...

"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE HARD OBJECTS GENTLEMEN? YOU HAVE TEN POCKETS IN YOUR UNIFORM! GO AND CHECK ALL TEN!"

patpatpatpatpat...

most people just need a few pats... not so much that they need to really check their pockets...
but that most people can... ah...

feel...

well i can't say for Mr. I-Have-To-Be-Heard-In-Bold-Big-Letters...

perhaps unlike most people... his muscles have obscured his nervous system from any external input...
yes Mr. I-Have-To-Be-Heard-In-Bold-Big-Letters... it is possible to feel through the fabric of the uniform if there's anything in your pockets...

try it...

perhaps you won't look like you're trying to get rid of mutant mosquitoes in your uniform the next time you prepare for another lesson...

but here comes his tour de force...

"I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE TISSUE PAPER! THAT IS ALSO A HARD OBJECT!"

the collective whap of an entire company of recruits' jaws hitting the floor echoes in the ensuing silence...

notwithstanding of course the fact that 'tissue paper' not being a proper noun requires an article before it...

"YOU KNOW WHY IT'S A HARD OBJECT?"

more silence...
alas... the fool's question has stumped the scholars...

"WHEN YOU SWEAT, THE TISSUE WILL GET WET! THEN WHEN IT DRIES IT WILL BECOME A HARD OBJECT!"

and so it was that we came to cross paths with our instructor...

i personally believe that trolls... the kind with exceptional physical strength and humiliatingly non-existent intelligence do exist...

hey presto...