well, so here i am.

this new week marks the beginning of the end of this period of life that has went on for two years. strangely enough, with all the performances and rehearsals and preparation going on in my life right now, the end of such a momentuous era in my life seemed to be sorely lacking something, specifically, recognition.

ergo.

not too many days ago, in anticipation of this time coming, i had flipped back to the dusty pages of my archives and read and re-read all my previous posts; on graduation, on army, and on life in general over the last two years. and quite unabashedly, i'd like to say that it has been, well, good. good, because over the past two years, whether borne of good or bad, i've learnt so many things and grown in so many ways that when i cast the mirror back and look at that floppy-haired guy from the past i can hardly recognise the reflection.

it seems that everything has gone on a long, winding, but ultimately eye-opening journey. now, stopping to look back to see how far i've gone it doesn't seem far, because i'm back where i began, pursuing passion and laughing like a child and letting love and life take their own inscrutable ways. that was exactly how things were when i left civilian life, but in the days in between the then and the now, i've let passion slip away, trying to convince myself that i could live a lesser life, and shed tears, and veiled laughter. but after it all, i'm still back here where i began.

and thus, having suddenly set all these previously unnamed, undefined and therefore non-existent thoughts to life in black and white i seem like that boy again, facing an impossibly huge world and future. but then, at least now i have the knowledge that i can, after losing sight of everything, find it again.

because i've done it before.